Todd-zilla says ‘Sayonara’

Even if you had good seats at the Saddledome that night, you might have missed it. After all, it happened at a meaningless moment in just another of the 82 marginally meaningful regular-season games. The play had come to a virtual standstill because the puck was in the neutral zone and both teams were making partial changes. Suddenly, the puck squibbed over to Todd Bertuzzi who decided to whip his stick across his body so that he could collect the rubber and dump it into the enemy zone wronghanded. Hockey historians know that guys like Gordie Howe and Chris Chelios occasionally would occasional change hands to shoot the puck on net if the situation called for it, but who in tarnation makes dump-ins wronghanded?

In the end, the move was symbolic of Bertuzzi’s first and almost certainly only season in Flames silks — highly unorthodox, strangely entertaining and of questionable value. It’s the epitome of faint praise when the compliments paid Bertuzzi include such beauty lines as “well, he wasn’t too bad considering what they were paying him” or “I didn’t hate him as much as I thought I would.” On the other hand, his detractors were very forceful in criticizing his Ice Capades-style skating patterns, his ridiculously fancy but not always effective passes and his thoughtless and careless penalties.

Of course, what the braying customers thought of the Old Cannoli Truck hardly matters now because he turned in his No. 7 sweater for keeps Wednesday as the Flames went through that annual sombre ritual known as “Garbage Bag Day.” If there was any doubt left, the quick separation he has created between himself and the team — he referred to the Flames as “they” in his parting comments to reporters — should eliminate it. While some of Bertuzzi’s lukewarm fans suggest they’d consider welcoming Bertuzzi back for the right price, the simple fact is that the big galoot will be turning his circles for a sixth team in five seasons next winter. The Flames will be better off for it too because who doesn’t honestly think Bertuzzi’s 19 minutes a night, including four per contest on the power play, won’t be better spent on the likes of David Moss (13:35 average ice time), Curtis Glencross (14:40), Dustin Boyd (12:52) or Eric Nystrom (9:15)?

Letting Bertuzzi lumber out of town would be the right call under any circumstances, but the Flames’ exceedingly tight monetary situation should remove any threat of what would be a disastrous re-signing. The shortage of nickels and dimes means that Bertuzzi isn’t the only chap on his way out. Some will be allowed to leave reluctantly — thanks for coming out, Michael Cammalleri, we’ll see you, Dave Gagner and Chris Drury when we have Flames One-Season Wonders Night — and other departures will be cause for week-long Tequila parties for some, like that of the club’s top left-shooting Swedish defenceman.

Most everyone falls somewhere in between on the Please Stay-to-Don’t Get Your Whozit Caught in the Revolving Door On the Way Out spectrum. Even beaten-up rearguard Rhett Warrener, who has already been told by doctors not to bother donating his body to science, will be fondly remembered for his hard-nosed contributions to the club even if the fans are not so secretly speculating how they can spend the $2.5 million that went to No. 44 this past season.

In no particular order (OK, so it’s actually in order of 2008-09 salary) here’s a quick rundown of those with expiring contracts and a mostly arbitrary rating of their chances to be a Flame in 2009-10: