WWYDW: Let’s get weird with it

There are just two meaningless games left. Aside from a couple of prospect performances, neither will mean anything to anybody. Let’s try to have some fun, at least.

So, an idea that has reared its head a couple of times over this past week: why not play Dougie Hamilton on the right wing? The Flames have no right wingers. He shoots more than any other Flame, he scores goals more than any other defenceman, he can be an offensive force of his own. Why not? It’s a perfect fit! It even opens a spot for Rasmus Andersson next year!

That’s… probably not going to happen, but it’s one of those decisions you can awkwardly argue yourself into thinking, “Yeah, this could be a good idea,” as you flee from the cold, icy grip of reality trying to catch up with you to tell you it will never, ever actually happen.

You know what else will never, ever happen? Any of us actually getting to decide lineups for an NHL game. But hey, interest is dwindling, so if you had the chance to dictate the lineups over the Flames’ final two games, what would you do, no matter how wildly implausible (or even actually reasonable)?

There isn’t much left to work with up front, but Mark Jankowski and Curtis Lazar on a line with Johnny Gaudreau? Spencer Foo tackling defensive zone starts with Mikael Backlund? Micheal Ferland alongside Michael Frolik and Backlund for an all-Mike line? Rasmus Andersson has some offensive flair, how about him up there?

Or maybe Andersson alongside Mark Giordano for a much tougher test? Brett Kulak, taking over the most ice time like he did that one game?

Make everyone play their offside, that’ll solve the right wing problem and create a whole new one! (Poor T.J. Brodie, missing out on this.) Force Gaudreau to backcheck by making him play as a defenceman. Bring back the five defencemen powerplay. Allow Mike Smith to show his appreciation for Tanner Glass’ fighting by dressing him at forward so he can more comfortably get into a scrap without his blocker getting in the way.

Because really, like, who cares anymore? Go nuts.

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