Clubs not Wild


Goony goo-goo

Is there a bigger misnomer in the league than the Minnesota Wild? I mean, there are some odd, nonsensical team names like the Penguins or Ducks (seriously – what’s with naming hockey teams after soft, defenseless birds?) but I think “the Wild” is the only completely ironic one of the bunch.

Aside from the very Sasquatch-like Derek Boogaard, there is nothing (and has never been anything) Wild about the Minnesota Wild. They are, in fact, antiseptically un-wild. They are the anti-Wild. The flip. The inverse. The negative. A pocket protector would be a more appropriate symbol for this club I think. A t-square or graphing calculator. Scaled blueprints. Stereo instructions.

This is not necessarily an indictment of their play or style. Part of me admires the fact that Lemaire can keep such a rigid hold over his players. There’s something to be said for a coach whose teams always limit scoring chances against while taking so few penalties. On a purely theoretical level, that is to be admired surely.

But if Risebrough insists on keeping Lemaire around and furnishing him with a team full of pluggers, then a name change is in order. The Minnesota bland. The Twin City accountants. Perhaps “the Trappers” would be the shortest bridge between their current monichar and a new, more appropriate one, yes?

Anyways, go Flames!