FlamesNation Power Rankings – Deal With It

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Well, seeing as they went over pretty well last week, and seeing as it was something that we decided was going to be a weekly feature well before it ever got posted, the Flames Nation Weekly Power Rankings have returned. (A day late, but you know, pretend it’s Monday. Everyone likes to pretend it’s Monday)

If you don’t know, and you don’t because nobody knows what power rankings really are (myself included), this is a feature where I look at the movers and shakers surrounding your Calgary Flames, find some common trends within that data, drink a lot, and then discard all that information  in favour of some quick hits ranking those on the team in a matter most disparate of fact or logic.

You’d think I’d be sorry about it. You’d think. Anywho, here they are! As always, please take these rankings seriously. I almost worked very hard on them.

Congratulations to Mr. Jones, who has played in 31 straight contests without succumbing to an injury. I had not followed his career with much depth before his arrival in Calgary, but based on everything we’ve seen since he’s been here, 31 games has to be some sort of record.

And don’t think people haven’t noticed! Every game you hear, um, analysts talk about how important he is on the ice. I guess!

Anyway, I haven’t reached the point yet where I think he’s David Moss every time I see a picture of him, but we are getting closer with every passing day.

Speaking of Ironman streaks, Tyler Wotherspoon is about to have a monumental one come to an end. Wotherspoon, who is an able bodied defenseman, and really quite a good one, is on the verge of playing his first pro hockey game at any level for the first time since January 6th.

Credit goes to the Flames organization for finding way to keeping him out of the lineup for no good reason during this storied run.

This man is a magician. Just when you think you’ve seen it all in this game, John Scott walks in uncontested out of nowhere and directs a puck into the back of a hockey net, and it’s like “whoa…never thought I’d see the day”

But we did see it. And we’ve seen it twice this year, but this time it was without the benefit of only having to skate around Brooks Orpik.

I can’t wait to see the shirt.

On a more serious note, big ups to Mr. GM for seemingly having and honest and self aware vision of what the Flames are, and how that is going to affect their actions at the trade deadline. No trading for Freddie Modin for us!

A native of New Yahrk, the Hell’s Kitchen product overcame the odds of his modest upbringing in one of NYC’s shadier neighbourhoods and became one of the Calgary Flames’ most prolific, yet unheralded forwards ever.

Amassing 189 goals and 388 points in 5 seasons with the C of Red, Mullen scored 24 points in 21 playoff games n 1989, playing a pivotal role in Calgary’s quest for their first (of many!) Stanley Cup victories.

After his playing career ended, Mullen returned to his roots in Hell’s Kitchen and ended up becoming Marvel Comic legend Daredevil, helping keep the streets safe despite his ability to see.

Seriously, #NeverForget.

Pressure’s on, Stockton, do the right thing.

In what can only be described as a display in mysticism, Swiss blueliner and sometimes bench sitter Rafael Diaz scored his first goal as a Calgary Flame against the Winnipeg Jets. Despite being a relatively mobile defenseman with a better than average shot (power wise, not so much accuracy wise. Obviously), Diaz, who has just let me check here….okay holy shit, only 6 other career goals???

Good hustle out there, D.

Last week I had Mickis ranked all the way up at number 5, and it was (quite correctly) pointed out to me that I should not be so boisterously singing the skilled center’s praises during this tenuous time where he remains a relatively unleveraged RFA without a new long term deal.

So with that in mind, in case there are any GMs or scouts or anyone who works for the Flames reading this (and why wouldn’t there be?), um…booo! boo Mikael Backlund! 5 to 13? His stock is slipping fast.

In the same vain, LOOK AT CURTIS GLENCROSS! He was ranked a pathetic, lowly 20th last week, and now he’s all the way up to Number 12. In just 7 days. How high can the chuckwagon rider climb? #1? I think the sky’s the limit for this still young man, rival GMs.

Like Diaz, Russell scored his first goal of the season last week, this time potting the initial marker against the Sharks (who are apparently really easy to beat). Despite being a relatively mobile defenseman with a better than average shot (power wise, not so much accuracy wise. Obviously), Rusty, who has just let me check here….okay holy shit, only 31 other career goals???

Haha, okay, that’s not so bad, how has he not scored before now?

Ramo did not let in a goal last week, which is a pretty good sign that the Flames backup has returned and is ready to push for the starting role.

I’m now being informed that Reto Berra has a better chance of earning the starting job at this point, but it’s not so bad, as Karri is still the coolest, and will take the team deep in this current playoff run.

Wait, what do you mean he came in as Hiller relief? 

Last week we had Chris Lee make the power rankings for his uncanny ability to get really close looks at potentially illegal sticks.

You’d think “hey man, no way dies a ref ever do anything again memorable again, let alone a week later,”

Well, you’re wrong and you think about weird things.

I know the Tim Peel story is not a Calgary specific subject, but whatever man, that guy has probably screwed the Flames over in so, SO many creative ways, so he makes the list.

You suck, Tim Peel.

Johnny Hockey slips all the way down to 8 this week, and it doesn’t really have anything to do with his performance on the ice, where he’s basically been the best.

It’s just, man, what did Johnny do to his hair?

If this in any way affects his play, he’s going to get traded for Chris Stewart.

The man they call “Lance” continues to build upon a career defining season, and although he might not be a Top 6 forward, getting to play that role with NOT Mikael Backlund, who is just awful, certainly helps to make it looks like he fits in. 

I mean, just ignore the numbers and he looks great.

First off, I talk about Gio a lot, and I’ve never mentioned how disciplined he is for not throwing his coffee in that lady’s face in that ATB commercial. Kudos to you on that Gio, a lesser man (myself) would be facing a lawsuit.

He’s also played terrific all season in the face of having the Flames twitter account refer to him simply as #TheCaptain all season, which is just truly some heinous shit.

Seriously, how hard was Through The Fire And Flames in Guitar Hero? Truly the most dynamic Flames related thing in a decade.

This is never not the best.

This coming week for the Flames is highlighted by the annual Flames’ Father’s road trip (I have no idea what it’s actually called, but if it’s the least bit alliterative, you gotta think there’s a good chance that’s the one)

Not only does it give the young, road weary Flames a chance to reconnect with their family, a luxury given how much time is spent in airports and hotels, but also to saturate away rinks with a flood of Dad jokes that ill forever Dad up that barn. They will be scraping the Dad out of that place for months.

As a bonus, it prevents Jiri Hudler from being a terrible influence on Johnny Gaudreau, whom Hudler believes is his own son.

It seems as if we’re about to lose two of the Flames’ most dynamic players to something of a career change. Awful idea if you ask me. Sure, everyone loves lacrosse, but you have to spend so much time trying to find a part time job that will give you weekends and evenings off.

Anyway, Sean’s young enough to someday retire from his sure to be legendary lacrosse career and make a renewed connection with hockey, and let’s hope he does, because he’s kinda good at it.

It finally happened. Bollig is off the schneid.

In a recurring theme from the past week, Bollig scored his first goal of the season, which is a real game changer for the Flames. They acquired him for his offense, and now that he’s showing some, you have to expect the goals are going to start coming in waves.

Pressure’s on, Brando.