Welcome to the Game Day Fire Drill, for this, Calgary’s 43rd game of the season on Jan. 6, 2010.

I was gonna use this space to gloat about America’s great victory over Canada in that instant classic but you people have enough to deal with being Canadian and not nearly as good as me as an American so I, in my infinite generosity, have decided to take it easy on you and only post the following gifs once each.

 

You’re welcome.

Now then, the Calgary game.

I know it’s kinda my gimmick to act like I’m all worried about what’s going to happen and then I say Calgary will probably lose and break my heart and I’ll cry myself to sleep. But that beautiful, glorious John Carlson shot last night has me feeling different, somehow. I think that’s what pride feels like. Perhaps it’s confidence. Maybe I’m just thirsty. I can’t be sure, but I will say this: there’s nothing to stop the Flames steamrolling the Wild tonight.

Minnesota has hit the skids for about the ninth time this season. Four-game losing streak. Only eight goals in those four games. And 18 goals against. Not sooooo good. On the other hand, Calgary has allowed one goal in each of its last five games.

Seems like a recipe for success to me.

The Calgary Flames (25-12-5 for 55 points. Fourth in the West, first in the Northwest) and the Minnesota Wild (20-20-3 for 43 points. Eleventh in the West, fourth in the Northwest).

6 p.m. Mountain time and 8 p.m. Eastern time. All other time zones should fool around in the workplace.

XCel Energy Center, St. Paul, Minnesota. Calgary is 13-7-2 on the road this year, and are now on a five-game winning streak, if you can believe it. The Wild are 12-6-1 at home and have dropped four straight.

Andrew Brunette — Andrew freaking Brunette has more points than anyone on the Flames than Jarome Iginla. Andrew Brunette! He’s like 47! It’s an outrage.

They’re awful — Do you know who their No. 3 goalscorer is? I’ll give you a hundred guesses and you’ll never get it. It’s Owen Nolan. Owen Nolan has more goals than all but two people on a National Hockey League team.

Martin Havlat — Boy was he draggin’ ass. He’s only got 25 points at this point in the season? Christ, Olli Jokinen has more than that. But hey, he’s got 16 points from his last 16 games, so alright!

Because you gotta wash away that national sorrow somehow. Enjoy the game and issue me notes of congratulations in the comments section.